


i don't care if we're stuck in the familiar

by sugdensrobert



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family talk, M/M, Missing Scene, a bit of angst but still mostly fluff, aaron is there for him, robert's feelings about his family, supportive husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 12:00:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19700935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugdensrobert/pseuds/sugdensrobert
Summary: both his sister and stepmother are planning to leave the village and robert talks to aaron about his feelings.or, my take on what happened just before they got to the bridge and what happened when aaron took his husband home.





	i don't care if we're stuck in the familiar

**Author's Note:**

> yesterday's content was very cute and i just couldn't resist! (any excuse for me to talk about robert and his feelings about family past and present:) i didn't plan for this fic to be as long as it is but oh well, i hope you enjoy x

He hears the front door slam shut and frowns, he didn’t expect Robert back just yet. He knows his husband, he’s not going down without a fight. He hopes him and Victoria haven’t had another big argument, but he can’t think of any other reason that Robert is back this soon.

He continues unloading the dishwasher, almost waiting for the inevitable frustrated ramblings from his husband the minute he comes through the door of the actual house but it’s Liv who breaks the silence first.

“Rob?” it sounds concerned and Aaron turns around and sees the older man leaning against the staircase, his whole demeanour screaming that he is upset, that something has happened. Aaron takes in the droop of his shoulders, the way he has his eyes closed as if he’s preparing to tell them something terrible, as if _he_ has just heard something terrible.

“Robert” Aaron says, slowly approaching him but his husband suddenly straightens up, opens his eyes that are filled with unshed tears and Aaron feels his heart shatter.

“Hey, what’s happened- did you fall out or-?”

“Can we go for a walk please?- I just need to get out” it’s said in that voice that Aaron has come to recognise pretty well over the last few weeks, it’s a shaky kind of voice, a voice that tells him that Robert can’t say much at a time without breaking down.

Yeah- of course if that’s what you want” Aaron stammers, looks at Liv who gives him an unsure smile.

“Liv, I am ok” Robert says, his voice sounding less fragile and Aaron sees the young girl smile at him. Aaron knows his husband isn’t ok though, feels his heart ache with love against the fact that Robert still wants to reassure Liv.

“C’mon then” he says gently, placing a hand against Robert’s back and guiding him to the door.

It’s a nice day really, Aaron just wishes the both of them could enjoy it under happier circumstances. He glances sideways, sees his husband staring into the water absentmindedly. His heart feels heavy for the older man, can’t imagine how upset he would be if his mum and paddy had decided to just up sticks and leave the village. It feels different for Robert though he supposes, it had been Diane and Vic who had kept him in the village really, the family he wanted to stay for after being away for so long. If they hadn’t been here Robert might as well left it all behind during the times there had been problems between the both of them. He has grown up in this village and had lost so many family members already. He watches Robert’s face carefully and has to resist the urge to just wrap him up in his arms, protect him from the world.

He had done that earlier, practically had to because it was like his husband hadn’t been able to keep himself upright anymore, his body shaking with the need to cry. It was just near the cricket pavilion when Robert had told him that Diane was moving away with Vic, Aaron not managing to get anything out of the older man before that.

It was when Robert started listing off family members that had left the village, left him, that Aaron really realised that this ran so much deeper. Both of his remaining closest family members were leaving and he knew how much his husband struggled with the thought of being left, being alone, because it reminded him of his past. 

_“Mum, both my mums- dad, Andy and now Vic and Diane and even Seb is not here with us anymore I feel-“_

_“Rob, Robert, let’s sit down yeah” he had led Robert closer to the cricket pavilion, so that they could settle on the steps. He had gently guided his husband’s face to the crook of his neck, just letting him cry it all out while Aaron rubbed at his back gently._

_“M’sorry- I really didn’t want to do that.” Robert had said after he had calmed down, looking up at Aaron._

_“What are you sorry for?”_

_“It’s a bit silly isn’t it? A grown man crying because his sister and stepmother are moving away, they are not even moving abroad- well that’s not the plan anyway.”_

_“Robert no- don’t. It’s not silly and we both know it’s more than that isn’t it?. You just said yourself. It’s not silly- it’s not." He didn’t know what else to say, what he could do to make it better. All he knew was that this was really hard for his husband, not just because Vic and Diane were leaving but because they followed a long line of other family members of Robert’s and it was bound to bring up memories._

_He had watched his husband, felt a familiar worry creeping up on him. The older man had really been struggling over the past few weeks and even though he was letting Aaron in, he still wasn’t able to tell what Robert was thinking about every minute of every day. Whether he was beating himself up or taking responsibly for things totally out of his control. Aaron knew that he had to tread carefully around his husband, the whole situation just having gained another layer and he needed to keep an eye on Robert’s mental health._

_“Robert?” he had asked gently, hoping to encourage his husband to say something._

_“I feel guilty for feeling like this because it’s not about me is it? And I am also angry because that scumbag- it’s all him and now Vic feels she has to leave everything behind just like that?”_

_“I know” Aaron shushed gently- “but it would be good for her, she’d feel safer. And you don’t have to feel guilty for anything Rob- whatever you’re feeling is valid alright? Of course it’s ok to be upset. Bottling up would be the worst thing you could do.” He had kissed Robert’s head, which elicited a small but real smile from his husband. He had rested their heads together, just letting the silence linger for a bit._

_"Can we go to the bridge? Our bridge” Robert had broken the silence, a slight blush appearing on his face and Aaron had laughed. “Our bridge huh? You sap.”_

_“You’re denying it then?”_

_“Definitely not.”_

It’s still quiet but Aaron is not too worried, yet. They’ve been standing like this just looking at the water for a while now, exchanging small smiles every so often. It’s what reassures Aaron, a sign that his husband isn’t totally isolated in his own world.

_“It just feels so final if they both go though.”_

They were curled up on the couch. Robert’s head on his chest, bodies pressed together. Liv sat in the chair across, engrossed in the film she got to pick. He sighs, moves to kiss the top of Robert’s head, who lets out a noise of content. After their talk on the bridge Aaron had offered that they’d go home, watch a film like Liv had suggested earlier, order a takeaway and just have a night in. His husband had accepted and Aaron had been grateful, he didn’t much fancy Robert going off to Vic's again, trying to change her mind and upsetting himself more in the process. He was happy to take care of his husband now, letting him know that he would always have him and Liv, along with so many other people in the village that loved and cared for Robert.

He’s lost in thought when Liv suddenly jumps up and announces she is going upstairs. He realises the film has finished and Robert is starting to fidget next to him.

“Leaving already then?” he grins and Liv says something about wanting to listen to music, having spent enough time with the both of them for a bit.

Robert lifts his head up but only to let it rest against Aaron’s shoulder this time.

“You ok?” he whispers and feels Robert nodding.

“M’yeah- just thinking”

“Wanna share your thoughts?” He can practically feel Robert freezing slightly and then there’s a deep sigh but he waits him out patiently.

“It’s just- the same stuff really. It’s weird that they have been here for so long and I missed out on so much time with Vic, well the both of them really when I left you know?” Aaron nods, they don’t talk about Robert’s time away from the village much. “I feel guilty- I think, because I want them close to me, I like knowing that they are here when I need them or that I can be there for them. But I also know that this is what Vic needs- even though I am not happy about it. And I like the idea of Diane going with her but also not- because that’s both of them gone. But then I feel guilty because I am just being selfish?” Aaron watches him shrug, knows his husband isn’t quite finished yet. He places a hand in Robert’s hair, threading his fingers through the older man’s locks gently. “Diane didn’t even seem that sorry- she really thought I’d understood yesterday. She was just like 'oh yeah sorry Robert but I am leaving too.' As if she was telling me she forgot to get milk. And now I sound horrible and selfish again don’t I?” Robert finished bitterly.

Aaron hated the way Robert was beating himself up constantly nowadays. But he knew from experience that someone just telling you to stop doing it wasn’t enough. He kisses Robert’s head again, considers his words carefully before speaking.

“Robert-“ he says their heads pressed together closely “you have nothing to feel guilty about. Of course you are going to be upset when people so important to you are moving away. Things will change. Especially when you’ve already lost important people in the past.” He places another kiss to Robert’s hair, then one on his forehead. He prays he isn’t upsetting Robert even more with his words but he wants to let his husband know he understands, that he gets why he is so upset and most importantly, he needs to let him know it’s ok to feel whatever he is feeling.

“You’re not selfish- not at all. You know what? You’re one of the least selfish people I know.” Robert makes a noise which Aaron knows is one of disagreement. “Maybe in the past- yeah. But not anymore.” Aaron continues lightly, knows exactly what Robert is thinking. “You care for the people you love so much Robert- and I promise, they know that. Vic and Diane love you, how can they not eh?” Aaron smiles and he can hear his husband scoff slightly a grin appearing on his face. “You know the photo album Diane made for you? She did that because she knows family is important to you Rob- however complicated certain relationships have been, we all know you care so much.”

“Thank you Aaron.” Robert says sincerely, he raises his head and Aaron can see tears in his eyes but his expression isn’t a sad one.

“It will all still be hard I know that” Aaron continues, still has some stuff left he has to get off his chest. “You aren’t alone alright? You never will be- because you can visit them, and call them anytime. But you also have me, me and Liv and little Seb who needs us for fun weekend plans." Aaron warms at the smile that spreads on Robert's face at the mention of their little boy.

"Plus you’re a Dingle now remember- they are all family Rob and they care so much. So if you ever want to go to them- you can."

“Aaron-“ Robert’s says thickly.

“No- let me say this.” Aaron shushes him. “Being alone, and being left scares you I know that. But I am always here for you and I’ll always be on your side even when you’re being an idiot. It’s not like it was in the past for you Rob- you’re so loved please don’t forget it. I love you so much.”

“I really didn’t want to cry again” Robert says looking up at him, a few tears rolling down his face and Aaron laughs softly “well I don’t mind- c’mere you” he pulls Robert towards him so they are able to have a proper hug.

Suddenly Robert pulls back and looks at him slightly worried. “You do know that I never meant to imply that you aren’t enough or anything when I-“

“Hey no- of course not. And you really didn't” Aaron interrupts, feels so safe in the knowledge that they are solid and have been for a long time now. He is enough for Robert just like Robert is enough for him. “I know how you meant it Rob- I always know” he reassures gently.

It’s when he comes out of the bathroom and watches Robert already curled up in bed that he comes up with an idea to reassure his husband completely. Tomorrow he will give his mum a ring, bring her up to date and ask her to have a chat with Robert. He will repeat all the things he said today a hundred times over if Robert needs it but he also feels that speaking to someone else he trusts about all of this could really help the older man. He likes Diane, but he knows how she can be sometimes, the way she doesn’t always seem to understand Robert and the last thing his husband needs is Diane dismissing his feelings about all of this. And gosh his mum loves Robert so much, sees it in the way she looks at the both of them when they are in the pub, sees it in the way she frowns in concern when Aaron tells her that Robert isn’t doing too well. He is sure that his words have hit home with Robert, that he is allowing himself to believe them. Robert’s relaxed shoulders and slack face, are evidence of that. A chat with his mum could get him there all the way though and it will show him that his family really is all around him.

He curls up behind his husband who’s half asleep already. He pulls him to his chest gently, his hand finding the older man’s and squeezing it.

“Love you.” Robert says sleepily and Aaron feels happy and content against the fact that his husband can go to bed feeling reassured and loved.

He kisses Robert’s neck “Love you more.”


End file.
